“But what was she wearing?” “But didn’t she choose to prostitute herself?” “But weren’t they dating?” “But what about…” “But what if....” Nothing is an excuse for exploitation.
Some of the most frequently asked questions surrounding trafficking, domestic violence, and abuse allude to victim blaming. This simple fact is argued to be a much more complex topic than it should be.
An abuser is an abuser regardless of her clothes. A trafficker is a trafficker regardless of their “relationship status.” Exploitation is exploitation regardless of her “job status.”
Our society has accepted the praising of pimps and the degradation of victims and survivors as if it was their fault not the trafficker’s. Now this is where the real problem lies- the encouragement of a cycle of injustice.
Oftentimes when it may appear as if the one being trafficked “chose” the life of exploitation, we are actually blind to the reality of their story. There is an innumerable list of factors that could lead to one being more at risk of being trafficked, but nearly every one of them is a factor out of one’s own control. Generational poverty, a history of abuse, neglect, the list goes on. Even in a situation where one may have chosen a life of prostitution, did she choose exploitation and injustice? No.
Our team is reading Girls Like Us by Rachel Lloyd, a survivor of sex trafficking herself. In the book she says, “Many people believe that girls “choose” this life, and while it is true that most girls are not kidnapped into the sex industry, to frame their actions as choice is at best misleading. It is clear from the experiences of girls that, while they may have acted in response to individual, environmental, and societal factors, this may not necessarily be defined as choice.” She goes on to describe the fact that having a choice requires the presence of legitimate alternatives and an ability to weigh those options against one another. It is shown that most all of these girls do not have these alternatives and would be too young to reasonably consider the options even if they were there.
What does this mean for us? Well first we must recognize our role as advocates. Many people view advocacy solely in regards to the girls- the victims and survivors. However advocacy is so much more than that. Oftentimes we believe that trafficking is so far away from us. That it only happens in those countries, those neighborhoods, and to those people. But “never to us.” The truth is that it isn’t isolated to “those” people and places. Not only in terms of those exploited, but also in terms of those who exploit.
I was born into a white, middle class family. This just so happens to be the same demographic as the majority of clients that are served by girls being trafficked. The ones that look like my dad- white, middle aged, middle class men, are the very ones paying to exploit the girls that we fight for justice for. The issue of trafficking is so much closer to us that we think. We must use our voice.
We must stop responding with “But didn’t she choose it?” We must hold those around us accountable. We must educate ourselves and others. We must fight for justice.
